Story time With Shoe

[Shoe]

Grand Fecal Tribe Chapter 1 - Discovering Feces (journal format)
There was a village in the north east down by the bogs of north puma that had a village of Eskimo's also known as that "Grand Fecal Tribe". These are the studies and records of events I will face while living with this undiscovered people and my analysis of the native inhabitants.
March 12 1956 - Day 1
I met the chief of the village today and let me tell you what a piece of fucking shit. Literally they seriously worship a big turd. I never knew a culture could be so... umm.. Never mind. I managed to piss off some of the locals already because I whipped out my cock and turned it into a hamburger.
These people seem to speak English but obviously they don't know what a television is. I don't get it are they fucking stupid or just full of shit? So I beat the shit out of 20 of them and dismembered the legs. Then I beat up some tourists with the limbs as they were coming by while taking a hit of crack. It's a good thing I brought my gun because It's easy to kill stupid natives who have never seen a gun before. I just said "This is my magical death machine now get on the ground or your brains will be splattered all over the wall" I also raped some woman and stole some drugs. I found it amusing they didn't do anything about it. I even got a good nights sleep without worrying about being killed in my sleep. I can't put my finger on it but I think they are pacifists. Hahaha. Homos.
March 13 1956
Day 2.

- living in this village was a special young girl named "needadouche" who was special because she had a very wide vagina and shit turds like it was going out of style. She ate like a camel and spit constantly in her food. I had a chance to meet this special little girl and before we had a chance to speak she vomited all over my new shirt. I got so turned on I had to masturbate into the closest sock or head of hair. Which happened to be her head. unfortunately she was already covered in monkey piss but that didn't stop me. It didn't quite work out the way I planned I kinda hit her in the eye . I think she's blind now. Oh well not that I give a fucking shit or anything. Not longer after I clean up my mess did we start talking about the village. And She was going on about her people and how famine had taken over there village and all this really boring stuff I didn't care about so I punched her in the mouth and broke her jaw. then I took my led pipe and beat her to death with it then raped the corpse. I suppose I should have used lube. After I killed her I waited around a day before I stuck my dick in it and it was DRY as fuck. Seriously like having sex with sand paper, at any rate, My sleep was good that night and it's the first time I've ever gotten my dick "dry" and felt it was a good thing.
March 14 1956
Day 3
I woke up to a corpse lying next to me and forgot I killed the bitch. But when I came to I grabbed some coffee and tried not to think about dead native girls. I had an important mission today.
Scare me some Indians. I decided to bring along my weapons on this expedition because when it comes to "observing" native lifestyles you really gotta know how to throw natures fuck ups there way. Half the day I spent tying them to chairs and making them watch me torture villagers to death and raping innocent woman and children. I also told them about Happy things like how I would dismember them limb from limb if everyone of them didn't suck my cock all at once. But each one fell for the "suck my cock get shot in the head" gag. God these people are stupid. I'm having a lot of good memories from this place already and it's only day 3 of 30. I hope These guys have enemy Indian tribes because these guys will get boring soon enough. I did so many drugs today that I thought I was a fucking beach umbrella and I covered myself in human shit and rolled around in mud for 3 days.

Day ??? February 456 page entry dialog
this is why I never keep a fucking journal i'm going back to bed
end of log 1

[Mud]

HAHA, write more. Asshole.